Life is waiting
by mellorine-swaaan
Summary: The title is just random and I suck at summaries but whatever... Sakura's POV. It's about when Sasuke left and how she moved on.


"Why

Hello! This is my first fic. I made it about a year ago. Although I've changed some parts of it. May contain spoilers for those who don't read the manga of Naruto, which by the way doesn't belong to me.

Summary: Sakura POV. The way she reacted to Sasuke going away and finally getting over it.

……………………………………..

"Why? Why is this happening to me? Why do I have to suffer so much? Why did he leave me?" Those kind of questions had been in my mind for quite some time and there was always one conclusion where I was led. I wasn't enough. I wasn't good enough; I wasn't persuasive enough if you you want to put it that way. The time we spent together wasn't enough. Not even my love for him was enough to keep him here, even though my heart belonged to him and he was the first one to know…

I cried for days and days after he had left thinking of nothing but one thing "why". I knew that if he happened to see like this he would call me weak. He would say that I would remain weak if I didn't understand what is important in life. But I didn't care. He was the one to leave after all. Actually now I think that the reason I did cry was to prove to myself that I was not like him. That I didn't want him, no…, that I did not need him not to think of me as pathetic. Didn't need… That was as far as I could go at the time. I couldn't fool myself any further. I knew I wanted him to be there for me. I desired him to love me the way I did. God, I dreamed about him each and every single night.

That continued to be the case for a while. It was one of the worst periods of my whole life. I didn't care for anything else. My mind was set on bringing him back. I had started neglecting my appearance. I even stopped paying attention to my friends, even though at the time I needed their help most and they were always willing to provide it.

It took me a while to realise just how wrong I was. I had started ignoring everything and everyone. I had become some kind of shadow, both literally and metaphorically. I wanted to be seen by no one, I tried a lot to achieve it and even though I didn't I thought I had. I thought that other people had stopped caring for me, thinking of me, spending their time worrying about me just like I had. I thought that I had ceased to exist for everyone but him and that is exactly what I wanted. But I was also like a shadow due to the meager amounts of food I consumed daily. I ate only when it was needed or when I was forced to do so. It had even crossed my mind to commit suicide for the mere reason that if we were to take different ways in our lives, then maybe, just maybe, we would follow the same path afterlife. Maybe death was what would bring us together once again. But that thought didn't last for long. I could die easily but how would he die? I knew he was determined to defeat his brother and I was pretty sure that it didn't involve dying in any way.

Slowly but gradually my friends made me realise how wrong I was. I still can't forget what they all did for me. They gave me the strength I needed to overcome this huge obstacle that threatened to end my life. Some got me out of my misery by being there for me, talking to me, spending time with me. Others inspired me with their determination, their constant struggle to become better, their will to achieve what they trully deserve. I wanted this too, so I started training always keeping in the back of my mind anout retrieving Sasuke. That kept me going, it gave me courage. It was both my and Naruto's desire to bring our old friend back. We thought that would make us happy.

But it never did. Maybe it was because Sasuke never came back. When we were still trying to find him and came face to face with him a few years after he left I finally made sure. I was over him. Nevertheless I still wanted to bring him back, to recover him. But it wasn't so much for myself anymore, it was for my loyal friend who had promised to bring him back and he fully intended to because ,after all, this is his way of the ninja. So I did my best. And without me understanding it, I came closer to him trying my best to give him what both myself and Sasuke would give him. I took the place in his heart that was empty till Sasuke had left. Maybe I did this beccause I knew deep down in my heart that Sasuke wouldn't come back, even if he killed Itachi. And I was unfortunately proven right.

When he came to "crush Konoha" I understood that his search for power had no limits. He didn't mind attacking his old friends, the people who protected him when he was little, the people who helped him when he grew up. I couldn't restrain Naruto. His rage made him become the Kyuubi once again. No one could stop him anymore. His sixth tail made it even more impossible for us to get close to him. He beat Sasuke so easily, so fast, so smoothly. And then he stopped. He came back to his true self. We didn't know what to tell him, because as usually he couldn't remember a thing afterwards. We couldn't just go and tell him he had just killed his best friend whom he was trying so hard to retrieve. But when I met his eyes, I just knew he understood. He was trying hard not to show it, grieving silently. Squeezing his hand lightly was all I could muster.

……………………………………

So that's it! What do you think? Just review and tell me.

Dedicated to my best friend Fotini or fotinino as she likes to be called just cause she feels the way I do and I love her for that.


End file.
